~Today I am going back to a memory~

Three months after my mother passed away,

I was thumbing through my book shelf

to find just the right book,

when suddenly a numb sensation started in my fingers,

and ran up my arm.

I dropped the book.

Stared at my useless hand, and panicked. 

Later on that night,

in the emergency room, I was told that I had a 

T.I.A or complex migraine,

due to a hole in my heart.

A hole in my heart.

The doctors said I had it since birth,

But I knew, it was the piece of me that my mother

and my very best friend took when she left.

Apparently, the hole in my heart was causing these

intense paralyzing migraines, and was also

a potential stroke threat.

The doctors assured me that this was not unusual,

and due to modern technology it was a fairly un-invasive procedure to fix.

But it seemed pretty scary to me.

That night I laid in my hospital bed alone and afraid.

My once warm blanket had grown cold and I was shivering.

I knew my body wanted me to release all the pain I was feeling,

but I kept pushing it down.

Afraid that if I allowed my heart to feel any more grief,

 it would just stop beating all together.

But then in the quite of my room,

a peace swelled in my heart.

In my minds eye I saw light wrap around my body,

like the braid of a taffy maker,

cacooning me in a love I have never before experienced

on this earth.

I knew there was a power much greater than my imagination,

that was comforting me and I heard one sentence over and over.

Let the healers come.

Let the healers come.

Let the healers come.

It has been nearly three years since that night, and yesterday

my "whole" heart beat with gratitude,

when in a silent moment of reflection I realized

that the healers came.

One by one,

In different faces and defining moments,

they showed up for me.

So today,

whole and healed I vow to be a healer,

to lay my stories to rest,

and become an instrument for the Lord.

My healers taught me how.

and 

I thank you.

All of you.